LAUREL —
“What’s the matter, pal? You look down in the dumps.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve been wondering lately — could Osama bin Laden be winning?”
“Winning? Are you nuts! After he and his conspirators attacked us on 9/11, he had to flee to a cave.”
“I may not be a policy expert or historian, but hear me out. Right after al-Qaida attacked, we were united. We invaded Afghanistan because the Taliban harbored terrorists.”
“We rolled right through the place, too!”
“But then we overreacted and were soon divided. President Bush and the Republicans, fearing one of our cities would go up in a nuclear blast, invaded Iraq to kick out Saddam Hussein and seize what we were told were his weapons of mass destruction.”
“Saddam flouted the rules. He had it coming!”
“Invading Iraq was an idealistic move, however — never the government’s strong suit. The hope was to implant a shining democracy in the Middle East.”
“Things are better there now than when Saddam was running the joint!”
“Aside from war, America was already in recession before 9/11, thanks in part to the bursting of the tech-stock bubble. After 9/11, a worried Federal Reserve began a series of interest-rate cuts to pump ‘easy money’ into the economy.”
“Desperate times call for desperate actions!”
“That policy, combined with bad government policies to both create (Citizens Reinvestment Act) and buy (Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) bundles of risky subprime loans, would lead to a massive housing bust, which would really crash our economy.”
“You’re saying bin Laden indirectly contributed to the housing bust and the economic meltdown that followed?”
“By 2008, the American public was sick of Republicans, who had majorities in the House and Senate. They were tired of wasteful spending and angered by a war that dragged on, costing us lives and treasure. Combine that with a bad economy and the public was eager for any kind of ‘hope and change.’”
“Now you’re saying a backlash to the war, which was a result of overreacting to 9/11, set the stage for Democrats to take over the House, Senate and presidency?”
“Yep. And Democrats have spent billions we don’t have on programs that did little to stimulate the economy. They imposed a government-directed health care system on us that is going to send costs through the roof. They have extended the tentacles of government more deeply into the private sector. How we will manage trillions in new mandates and costs, as well as the trillions in liabilities we already had, is beyond anyone’s guess.”
“So you’re saying bin Laden had this all planned? He knew his attack would cause us to overreact in war and knew that the way we managed our economy would lead to the election of Democrats, who would weigh down that fragile economy with more burdens that would make us even weaker and more fragile?”
“I don’t want to give the jerk that much credit. But bin Laden has said loud and clear that his intent was not to fight us militarily, but to destroy our economy. His only hope for doing that was to divide us and get us to destroy ourselves.”
“We fell into his trap?”
“I hope not. But I do know it hasn’t been 10 years since 9/11 — and look at the mess we’ve created. If we don’t get beyond this Democrat-Republican bickering — if we don’t come together as Americans to resolve the sizable problems we face — a real world of hurt lies ahead.”
“I get it, pal. You worry that we’re beating ourselves, just as bin Laden had hoped — and you’re beginning to depress me.”
Tom Purcell, a freelance writer is also a humor columnist for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, and is nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. For more info contact Cari Dawson Bartley at 800 696 7561 or email cari@cagle.com. E-mail Tom at Purcell@caglecartoons.com.
Columns
Beating Ourselves?
- Columns
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Slowly but Surely
How was your Super Bowl Weekend? Mallorie and I had a full schedule as we attended the “Krewe of Docs” hosted by Oncologics to benefit the American Cancer Society Saturday night. The event was held here in Downtown Laurel and everyone did a great job. The Cowboy Blues Band played the night away and fun was had by all. We got geared up again Sunday night for Super Bowl festivities. After our Saints fell short against the 49ers, I was less than excited about this year’s big game. I picked a favorite anyway and my allegiance fell on the shoulders of Eli and the Giants. It was a great game to watch as a football fan and as always the commercials were pretty great too.
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Economic Chaos Ahead
Let’s think about the kind of mess that we’re in. Federal 2010 Medicare and Medicaid expenditures totaled $800 billion. The projected annual growth of both programs is about 7 percent. Social Security expenditures are more than $700 billion a year. According to the 2009 Social Security and Medicare trustees reports, by 2030, 49 percent of federal revenues will go for Social Security and Medicare payments. The unfunded liability of both programs is already $106 trillion.
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Are people really retiring later?
True or false? You may have heard this claim before (or something like it): “Many Americans are being forced to retire later because their savings and investments took a hit in the Great Recession.”
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Dead Mice Tell No Tales
“What’s that smell?” Sue asked from the front hall. “Is that a dead mouse?”
Sometimes I cannot help myself. “Is it?” I said. “I just thought you were cooking dinner.” Some people cannot take a joke. My shoulder still hurts. -
Around It or Through It
Recently, I had an irritation and wanted to go around it, but that is not how the story goes. I had a huge ulcer in my cheek; I was miserable and asked a doctor to help my pain. Instead of giving me a cure, He told me that I would be fine in a couple of weeks. That was not what I wanted to hear; I was in pain and a couple of weeks sounded like an eternity!
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Northeast Jones grads doing well in sports world
Justin Cooley was approved Monday night by the Smith County school board as the new head football coach at Raleigh High School.
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Health Care Trust Fund headed to a zero balance
A new Republican governor and new Republican legislative leadership now face the same task that has confounded their Democratic colleagues when they had the reins of state government – finding a way to pay for Mississippi’s massive Medicaid program.
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Running as a businessman could be Romney’s curse
Mitt Romney has based nearly his entire presidential campaign on his experience as a businessman. “I spent my career in the private sector,” Romney told Fox News in late November. “I think that’s what the country needs right now.”
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Reducing state teen pregnancy
In his State of the State address, Gov. Phil Bryant set out as a policy for his administration to tackle the issue of teen pregnancy — a formidable goal.
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Sexes’ Differences Good for Valentine’s Day
Get this: men and women are different.
Italian researchers made this “groundbreaking” discovery in a recent study. - More Columns Headlines
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